Over here in Britain, everyone’s gone sex-mad and not in a good way. First there was a notorious story of a teacher who ran off with a 15 year old school-girl. Then there was the revelations about the deceased disc jockey Jimmy Savile who it is claimed had a fondness for girls who were not legally competent – either by reason of age or physical disability. Now the can of worms is well and truly open and it seems that every person in broadcasting, alive or dead, who ever had a peccadilo is having their past come back to haunt them.
What is wrong with Britain? And why is it happening now?
It occurred to the Sumner Family Brain Cell to look to the stars for guidance. The Jimmy Savile story first broke on 30th September 2012 in the form of publicity for a forthcoming reveal-all documentary. At the time, Venus, the planet of relationships, was in opposition to retrograde Neptune, the planet of deceit and shameful cover-ups. Meanwhile, square to both of them (and thus making a T formation) was Mars, the planet of widespread public anger. Venus was thus challenging Mars to stir it into action; Mars was challenging Neptune. If only one more planet moved into formation, then there would have been a Grand Cross, a pattern associated with all hell breaking loose.
The Grand Cross occurred on 3rd October 2012, when the Moon duly obliged. Coincidentally this was the same day that the exposé about Jimmy Savile aired on ITV.
Let us postulate that this stellar configuration does indeed have something to do with the scandal then breaking. The question then arises, why should this involve Jimmy Savile in particular? And not some other seedy character with skeletons in the living room? For this I calculated Jimmy’s birth chart, and then looked at the transits made therewith by the chart for 3rd October 2012.

Outer ring: planets as at 3rd October 2012, 23.10pm.
Inner ring: natal chart of Jimmy Savile, 31st October 1929, Leeds (birth-time approximated).
As you can see, the four planets of the Grand Cross were transitting his natal Neptune. Venus – conjunction; Neptune – opposition; Mars (and Caput Draconis), as well as the Moon on the other side – both Square.
It is interesting also to note Savile would have been experiencing a “Uranus Return” – and the Sun was in opposition to both the natal and transiting planets. I notice that one commentary about natal Uranus opposite transiting sun is you will do things that may alienate people. So all in all, it seems quite natural for these revelations to have come out when they did.
Finally, it is worth noting that this was a deceased man we are talking about – yet the stars still seemed to be affecting him! An argument if ever there was one for leading a good moral life while alive, as dying is not necessarily a means of escape. As a wise man (I believe it was Lemmy from Motorhead) once said: your bones will turn to dust, your possessions will be taken by other people, your money will pass back into the system, Â but your reputation is the only thing you leave in this world which will still belong to you after your death.













The Truth About Dracula: A Halloween Special
Bela Lugosi as Dracula
So, everyone knows that Dracula is the most awesome vampire ever in English literature. And before anyone dares to mention Ed Cullen, I should point out that he fails to qualify both in terms of “awesome” and indeed “literature
.” đ I actually have a niggling problem with Dracula though: it is this –
Dracula represents the fear of the outsider – fear of the foreigner. As a rich man he also represents the poor man’s fear that the upper classes are screwing him over. Given that he attempts to steal Jonathan Harker’s fiancĂ©e, he represents the fear of every man, that some stranger is giving your woman a far better time than you could possibly hope to achieve. He is, not to put to fine a point on it, Castration Anxiety personified.
Count Dracula is thus a perfect monster, but what he is not is a character. I say this because Dracula is aristocratic, rich, owns vast tracts of land, has a coterie of sexy lady Vampires with whom to share his enormous castle, and can snack on any of the local peasants whenever he feels hungry. Yet nowhere in Bram Stoker’s original novel
is there any explanation as to why he would want to give all of this up, and move to Whitby – of all places!
Winona Ryder
Francis Ford Coppola
sensed this fundamental flaw in the novel which is why he invented a back-story for Dracula for his film, namely that the Count was searching for his lost love. Given that she was played by Winona Ryder, he could have just done this by staying in Transylvania and following police-reports and in-store CCTV footage!
But was this what Bram Stoker originally intended? I mean about searching for a lost love, not about Winona Ryder, obviously. I discussed my concerns about Dracula with my fellow members of the Illuminati in the pub one afternoon. After recounting all the details to them, I asked: “So why would he want to move to Whitby?”
Inspiration seized one of my drinking companions. “They do nice fish and chips there!” he said.
“What?” I replied.
“They do nice fish and chips in Whitby! That’s why Count Dracula upped and moved to Yorkshire.”
So there you have it! For all the delights that rural Carpathia has to offer, the one thing that they have not is tasty battered (locally sourced) cod with chunky chips served with le purĂ©e de petit pois. I must say that given that I like a Fish Supper every once in a while – as well as liking Fish & Chips – I can to a certain extent sympathise with the old Count!
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Tagged as Bram Stoker, dracula, Francis Ford Coppola, hallowe'en, whitby, Winona Ryder