You will become a criminal as of midnight tonight (31st August 2012) if you are squatting in a property in England. This is the result of a change in the law enacted by the current Coalition Government. Up to now, squatting per se has not actually been a criminal offence. The only crime for which you could have been convicted is if you had entered the property by Breaking & Entering. If however you had managed to enter peacefully, not only could you squat but also, if the actual owner of the property never took any legal action against you, you could even register legal title to the property on the basis of Adverse Possession – even upgrading this to Absolute Possession, if the owner somehow did not get round to pursuing you (admittedly a very rare occurence).
This, however, has now been knocked on the head by the Government. There is something very obviously immoral in the illegalisation of squatting – people are essentially being criminalised on account of their poverty. The only alternative to avoid criminality is to voluntarily become homeless: so in other words, there isn’t actually an alternative…
… Until now! For I, Alex Sumner, the World’s Greatest Expert On The Occult and sometime legal expert, have worked out a perfectly feasible and legal solution to the dilemma now faced by squatters. It is this:
Simply turn up at the Ecuadorean Embassy and claim political asylum. Then you will be given a free flat in Knightsbridge!
Yes indeed, according to this news report, Julian Assange is looking forward to at least six to twelve months living in the Ecuadorean Embassy. Presumably this is rent-free – being paid for by the people of Ecuador. So it strikes me that if the people of Ecuador are prepared to give free board and lodging to any old criminal, they must surely be willing to give it to those who have been criminalised undeservedly!
So, squatters, turn up at the Ecuador Embassy at Flat 3B, 3 Hans Crescent, London SW1X 0LS (nearest tube station: Knightsbridge) to claim your free accommodation today! 🙂
What The Stars Have In Store For Julian Assange
Today, to celebrate Julian Assange being dragged kicking and screaming from the Ecuadorian Embassy, I present what I first wrote about his situation when he first went in there, six and a half years ago. Looks like the Scientologists have got their revenge at last. Hail Xenu!
First published 16th August 2012.
Get used to this view!
News today that the United Kingdom has rather intemperately threatened to storm the Ecuadorian embassy to forcibly arrest Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. Some cynics amongst us might say that President Obama is putting pressure on David Cameron. However, I say, not so! For I have used my superior powers of Astrology to find out what’s really going on, and I’ve got to say, for once the truth is actually far more interesting! Here then is what the stars have in store for Julian Assange:
I drew up a Horary figure to answer the question: “What will happen to Julian Assange regarding his present situation?” The time, date and place for the question was 12.44pm British Summer Time (11.44am GMT), 16th August 2012, Essex, UK. This produced the following chart:
Horary chart: “What will happen to Julian Assange?” (1144 GMT, 16/08/12, Essex, UK)
First, I looked to the position of Luna, to determine the circumstances in which the question had arisen. This was 9º 33′ of Leo (a Fixed sign), in the 9th House (a Cadent house), some 4º 22′ past the last nearest planet Mercury. This suggests that his current situation relates to an incident approximately four years and two and a half months ago.
This intrigued me, as his current legal battles are based on incidents alleged to have occurred more recently than that, in 2010. So, therefore, I decided to check on Wikileaks’ past history and see what they were up to in 2008, around about the beginning of June / end of May. I realised that the most recent exposé they had done by that point was the publication of secret material of The Church of Scientology.
Xenu: “You’re for it now, Assange!”
Yes, indeed, far from it being a simple case of the US Government being pissed off with Assange, the Scientologists are seeking their revenge against Assange and are using their
dupes*ahem* “contacts” in the Washington (and quite possibly) London administrations in order to get back at him.
So now to see what the immediate future holds for Assange: the Lord of the Ascendant, which indicates the development of the matter, is Mars, the planet of Violence, which just so happens to conjunct Saturn, the planet of Death and Restriction, in the twelfth House – which amongst other things represents prison. Could this mean that Assange will meet a violent death in prison??? Well possibly not actually, because Assange himself would be represented by the Lord of the Descendant, which would be Venus, which just so happens to be in the 8th House, the House of Death, where it is opposed by Pluto, the planet of explosive transformations…
Oh dear! This is not looking particularly good for Mr Assange! Let’s see what the end of the matter would be: this is signified by the Lord of the Fourth House, which happens to be Saturn. This of course is as we just noted in conjunction with Mars in the 12th house, so that what was said about Mars above will turn out to be how it all eventually ends up in the long-term.
The one light at the end of the tunnel, if there is one, is that now that Assange knows the kind of astrological forces which are at work, he is in a position to try and overcome them and escape them, instead of just succumbing to his fate. The stars impel, they do not compel, as the old saying goes, which is another way of saying: forewarned is forearmed.
So in conclusion my predictions for Julian Assange are as follows.
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Tagged as Ecuador, Julian Assange, Scientology, Wikileaks