Category Archives: Comment

Alex Saves America!

Alex' Happy Map of the USA. © Alex Sumner 2011.

All this talk about Sarah Palin and her “Blood Libel,” has got me thinking. One of the theories being bandied about is that the Arizona shooting took place because Palin drew up a map of America with a load of cross-hairs on it – one of them being on Tucson – hence causing Jared Lee Loughner to pick it to go on a killing spree.

Well I am going to put this theory to the test! I am going to draw up my own map of America, but instead of putting cross-hairs on it, I shall put smiley faces on it, so that instead of violence, random acts of kindness will break out all across the USA (see picture).

Obviously I do not expect to be thanked for this too much, although I think purchasing a few copies of my novels in exchange for bringing happiness to 250 million people sounds like a fair deal! 😉

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Believers Have More Sex Than Atheists

You are more likely to have children if you are a follower of a religion than if you are not. Not just because you are more likely to have sex, but because you will be doing so with people more likely to be fertile. A church is probably not the best place to go for a one-night stand, but if you want to meet people who are ready, willing and able to get married and go forth and multiply, they are veritable hot-beds of lust and seething passion.

This is not just something I have made up off the top of my head in order to attract traffic to this website – it is the finding of some academic from Cambridge. Ironically, I find that he is a Professor not of Religion, Genetics or Fertility but of Economics. Presumably the world-wide recession has quietened down for the moment, leaving him with time on his hands! More seriously though, because Religious people allegedly have more children than non-believers, then this means that there will be a natural tendency for the number of people following a religion to increase in proportion to those that do not.

The great irony of course is that religion may be a meme, but so is the idea of criticising overpopulation – with one crucial difference: the former by its very nature encourages its own continuance, whilst the latter is actually encouraging its own extinction. Oh how Richard Dawkins must be kicking himself!

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Enochian Magic in Tamworth

An open letter to the Enochian Magician who has been unwittingly discovered in Tamworth, West Midlands, England.

Dude! You may or may not have been reading the local papers recently but the brass plate which you buried in those woods has been discovered, and is in the possession of the West Midlands Ghost Club, who tried appealing for help in deciphering its contents. They would probably have got help a lot sooner if the paper had published a photo of the plate, but hey! This little detail seems to have been overlooked by the editorial staff.

I presume you meant the brass plate to be a talisman of some description. Whilst I admire your adventurous spirit, I cannot help but think you were over-egging the pudding by inscribing the words of the seventh Enochian key onto a brass disc and then burying it in the middle of the woods. The thing about Enochian magic is that you do not need to go to quite that much effort. Through my own magical work, I have found that there are only three things you need to do in order to get an Enochian Call to work:

  1. Beforehand – you need to have memorised what the English translation is meant to be;
  2. You need to keep in mind what the supposed effect of the Enochian call – i.e. what particular energies it is meant to be invoking; and
  3. You need to say (nb: not “vibrate”) the call in the original Enochian.

I personally find it best to memorise the actual Enochian itself. In addition to any magical virtue this might have, I feel it inconvenient to work from a script, so I reduce my reliance on one as much as possible. Generally this means it takes me at least a couple of days to prepare for each ritual, as I do not profess to have memorised all 19 keys by heart.

Once the hurdle of preparation is overcome, though, what is most noticeable is that an amazing feeling of power can be sensed almost immediately as the Enochian key is pronounced. So long as one has mastered the above three steps, one does not even have to be a particularly experienced magician. These are not just my own findings – other Enochian practitioners to whom I have spoken confirm its power as well.

Regarding pronunciation: I used to use the GD style, but I developed the conviction that the only real reason that the Golden Dawn developed this method was because they only had access to a limited number of Enochian texts, e.g. they worked from Sloane 307, which is not an original Dee text! Meric Causaubon’s A True and Faithful Relation, flawed though it may be, at least points out that Dee made marginal notes as he received the calls as to how each odd collection of consonants should be pronounced. What is immediately obvious is that the overall scheme is quite simply that each word is pronounced as it would have been in Elizabethan English, with odd consonants being pronounced separately. Moreover, Z is not pronounced Zode every time, but only when either smooth pronunciation demands it, or to add the connotation of “of God” to a word. The idea of interpolating vowels from equivalent Hebrew letters is entirely absent in Dee’s work.

I have much sympathy, though, with Geoffrey James‘ remark that Angels do not have vocal cords. Hence the manner of pronouncing a given Enochian key is rather academic at best. Hence knowing what the Enochian call is, and what it is meant to do, is possibly more important than how to pronounce it using the vocal cords of an “alien being” – i.e. a human.

The seventh Enochian key, which you used, in the Golden Dawn system invokes the Air Lesser Angle of the Water Tablet. From recollection, in the GD system again Air of Water refers to Pisces and the letter Qoph – which is magically associated with creating glamours, bewitchments and enchantments. Not sure that is what you intended but there you go. It is debatable whether this is what Dee intended for, having looked carefully at A True and Faithful Relation the only indication as to what the Enochian keys were to be used for was a single one-off magical working – and then never to be used again! Of course, there will be many Enochian magicians (including, it has to be said, me) who will counter that A True and Faithful Relation is not the be-all and end-all, as it would spoil a lot of people’s fun if it turned out that everyone had been doing it wrong for the past five hundred years or so.

As to why the Enochian language is so magical at all, the tradition supposes that it is the “Adamitic language” which was “spoken” in the Garden of Eden. But how can that be possible, especially if we follow James’ theory? One intriguing suggestion was put forward by the author Charles Williams. Whilst not referring to Enochian language per se, he posited the idea (in his book, The Place of the Lion) that the “Garden of Eden” is actually the Platonic World of Forms – and that the Adamitic language speaks directly to this World, thus invoking archetypal energies. Whether or not this is the case, the fact remains that Enochian is the closest thing we have to objective proof that magic actually works.

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Your Mind Has Its Own Healing Power

You have the power to heal your body with your mind, or mentally improve your body’s natural healing mechanisms through willed effort. Your mental healing power is so effective you can react to a placebo positively, even whilst knowing it is a placebo. This is the conclusion drawn by scientists from Harvard Medical School.

Now I can hallucinate what all the millions of spiritual healers from various traditions are saying as they read the above paragraph: “But Alex, we already knew that!”  Yes indeed – this is just another case of scientists finally catching up with us and daring to suggest that there is a basis in science for what spiritual healers have been saying for centuries. I did a review of spiritual healing techniques in a previous blog post. Since then my own observations would seem to indicate that such practices continue to be effective – although I cannot say that I have observed an unequivocal miracle … yet.

Spiritual and magickal healing undoubtedly has the power to produce an immediate sense of increase in wellbeing. I have personally observed this in a number of healing rituals in which I have participated, in which recipients who were present as the ritual progressed reported a sudden benevolent feeling as energy was directed towards them.

I have also tried distant healing, although I recognise that none of the circumstances were in controlled double-blinded conditions. I have seen it happen on many occasions where a healing ritual was done for a person known to be ill, who later turned up in person reporting to feel better. I have written about two occasions previously (here and here), although in both of these the patients had loads of other people praying for them at the same time. Distant healing therefore is the next big objective for scientists to prove.

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The Controversy of Astral Initiations

Burn Da Herb, Not Da Quran

Scanning the news today I note that Pastor Terry Jones, the man behind the infamous abortive Quran-burning stunt back in September, is allegedly threatening to grace the United Kingdom with his presence. He is supposedly going to be addressing a meeting of a far-right organisation in Luton – a town in Bedfordshire which so happens to have a large Muslim community.

Let us not forget that due to the successful efforts of mainly yours truly, and to a lesser extent several world-leaders and all right thinking people generally, this guy backed down from his antics last time. It may therefore be just another publicity stunt … However: just in case it isn’t, there is now a mass debate in Britain at the moment, as to whether he should be banned from entering the country or not. On the one hand, there are a load of bleeding hearts saying “freedom of speech!” etc. On the other, there are a load of law-abiding citizens in Luton who don’t want to get caught up in a riot or violent demonstration. IMHO, the way to appease both sides of the argument is so simple it is a no-brainer – SKYPE. He can address all his racist friends from Florida, without having to come anywhere near dear old Blighty. Result: riot-averted, freedom of speech preserved.

But I digress.

This has got me thinking about the wider use of modern technology generally, whilst more specifically in the context of magic. For example: could not Skype be used to link together distant magicians so they can perform a ritual? If your Golden Dawn temple does not have five adepts to sit on the Dais, you could instead set up a data-projector and a screen in the East of the room!!! Let’s face it, some Golden Dawn orders purport to conduct “astral initiations” at the moment, so it should not be too much of a stretch to conduct an initiation by Skype. If anything it would be more authentic, because you would actually see the officers conducting your astral initiation, and thus be reassured that they are not just sitting around eating pizza instead. Needless to say though that if it were a Golden Dawn Neophyte ceremony, in order to replicate the effect of a hood-wink, you would be staring at a blank screen for most of the ceremony.

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Prisoners Allowed To Celebrate Pagan Holidays

What the Daily Mail believes Pagans get up to on the Eight Major Sabbats

News today that Pagan prisoners in the UK will be allowed to take four of the eight sabbats as days off work whilst they are in hokey – which four is not specified, although apparently prison governors will be provided with a list of the major pagan holidays for reference. This is part of a move in which, in the spirit of religious equality, convicts of different religions are allowed to cease breaking rocks in the hot sun on the holy days of their own religion.

Needless to say, this is not how it has been reported by Nazi propaganda rag The Daily Mail. In an unintentionally hilarious article entitled Pagan prisoners given time off to worship the Sun God the Mail has described (mostly inaccurately) what Pagans are supposed to get up to on these days (see diagram), as if this were some reason not to allow these prisoners this indulgence.

There are at least two points which seem to have escaped the Mail (there are of course many more, but I am focussing on the two most important). Firstly, they are only getting as much time off as prisoners of other religions except on different days. Secondly, the prisoners are only going to be let off work for the day so they can celebrate the pagan feast day privately in their cell – they are not being let out of prison or anything like that: so citing – even inaccurately – what pagans outside prisons allegedly get up to is completely irrelevant.

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“Humans Do Have Psychic Powers, study claims.”

The Daily Telegraph is down to its usual low standard of up to the minute scientific reportage, viz by getting round to covering a story that everyone else did last week. A study in the New Scientist says that humans do indeed have psychic powers. Apparently there was a test of 1000 volunteers who were asked to recall words from a list – it turned out the words they most remembered by sheer coincidence *wink* turned out to be words on a separate list that they were later asked to type out (I presume it ought to go without saying that the two lists were kept separate under controlled double-blinded conditions etc etc).

This at least is the hype – the hard fact is that it only “magically” worked in 53% of cases, which the author of the study reckons is 3% more than would be expected by chance alone. It was at this point that the Sumner brain spotted the flaw in the methodology – it’s a basic mathematical error: PROBABILITY IS NOT THE SAME AS STATISTICS!!!

Some people might have difficulty with this concept, but let me illustrate with a coin-toss example. The probability of getting “heads” when flipping a coin is 50%. The probability of flipping a coin ten times and getting “heads” each time is 50% raised to the power of ten, which is 0.09765625%. Now imagine the following situation:

I flip a coin ten times. I get seven heads and three tails. Does this mean that the probability of me getting heads is 70%?

Or again: I flip a coin ten times and do indeed get ten heads. Does this mean that the probability of me getting heads is 100%?

Or again: I conduct a parapsychological research with 1000 volunteers. 530 volunteers achieve “hits”, 470 do not. Does this mean that there is a 53% chance that people have psychic powers? Or that any particular significance should be read into there being 530 hits, as opposed to e.g. 500 hits or any other number?

Quite clearly, the answer in all three cases must surely be “No” – because PROBABILITY IS NOT THE SAME AS STATISTICS!

The unfortunate fact of the matter is that at no point during the study did the investigators attempt to answer the question “Why are the people achieving hits managing to be successful?” Come up with a decent answer to that and only then you have plausible scientific evidence for saying humans have psychic powers. I personally would be thrilled to bits if there was scientific validation for the existence of psychic powers, but unfortunately this study is not it. The great irony is that this experiment is not an exercise in psychic powers, but it is an exercise in “numerology.”

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Invisibility


News today that scientists are apparently working on a Star Trek style cloaking device. Overlooking the fact that we are banned from doing so after having signed the Treaty of Algeron, this apparently works by manipulating the speed at which light reaches the viewer to create an apparent time-gap in which an event could be hidden. What this will do will in fact amount to making real-life look as if you are trying to stream an HD-video clip on a low-bandwidth connection.

Star Trek technology around the corner?

The maximum size of time-gap this can create is apparently 2*10^-9 seconds – so it is pretty pointless for creating an invisibility device given that the human brain apparently only processes information at the speed of 60Hz (i.e. if you can perform an event within 2*10^-9 seconds, there is no point turning on your cloaking device as no-one will realise you have done it anyway). Realistically though such a cloaking device could have an application hiding events not from humans but from computers which have a processor speed of 476mHz or greater – which is actually most of them nowadays.

In any event, one must bear in mind that the figure of 2*10^-9 may well be improved upon in the future, and given the rate at which, e.g.,  artificial telepathy has come on in the past twelve months, the likelihood that this will be sooner rather than later cannot be discounted.

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Daily Mail Attacks Pagans – Again

 

The appalling threat to today's society ... an unguarded flame in an enclosed space.

 

Slow news day at Nazi propaganda rag the Daily Mail, so they trot out another article about Paganism. Samhain, if you will recall, was twelve days ago … so basically what the Beaverbrook press have done is rehash a lot of what they did about a fortnight ago. It is obvious by the sting in the tail that the article is meant to leave the reader with the impression that Pagans are actively threatening Christianity (the journalist spoke to a supposedly-naughty pagan who conveniently “would not be named.”)

Yet despite trotting out various alleged Christian rentaquote people as well, the article is in fact surprisingly well-balanced – for the Daily Mail it is, attempting to give equal voice to both Pagans and the nay-sayers. They even try to be fair to paganism by asking Ron Hutton for a quote, so this might be a bit of a left-handed compliment after all 😛

IMHO, the Daily Mail is clearly secretly fascinated with something it doesn’t completely understand. I really think that Pagans, instead of reacting to every banal piece the Mail comes up with should instead aspire to remain aloof from its brand of journalism. One can no more expect the Daily Mail to produce a piece wholly uncritical of paganism than one can expect a dog not to bark. In that sense the Daily Mail does not deserve Pagans’ anger or hatred, but rather compassion instead, as one would show compassion to a wayward child. 😛

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An Open Letter to Lady Gaga, on seeing that she has held a Seance.

 

Lady Gaga

 

Dear Lady Gaga,

We have not corresponded before but hopefully in the future you will look back upon this moment as the beginning of a long and fruitful professional relationship.

Have you ever imagined the sight of a bill for ghostbusting services which has the letters F O C* printed on it and felt like “Oh my God! Why didn’t I hire this wonderful man before now?” For this is the service which I, Alex Sumner, Prophet of the Age of Capricorn, Ascended Master, and all-round expert on all things Occult can provide! In fact I will start right now by proffering some advice on seeing that you have recently held a Seance whilst on tour in Ireland.

Firstly, the good news. The spirit you refer to as Ryan is unlikely to be the soul of an actual dead person in torment upon this Earthly plane. Generally speaking, the souls of dead people only hang around the material plane up to few days after their physical passing, whilst the remaining ties which bind them here are themselves dissolving. Thereupon they depart for the after-life in the usual manner.

Moreover, mediums do not generally contact dead people even though they purport to do so, because the person’s soul has long since ceased to be in a position to provide useful information. If they are collecting accurate information about a person’s life it is likely that they are reading it off the Akashic Records. NB: don’t expect a spirit to provide more information than it would have known whilst alive, and beware of any supposed spirit which purports to do so. There is a saying in the Occult: “Just because you are dead does not make you more intelligent.” This sounds so obvious but often people who go to consult mediums tend to forget it.

The bad news however is that it may very well be that Ryan is a genuine “thing” of some description. It might be some sort of negative entity or elemental which you have attracted to yourself because of emotional trouble. Like a Bad Romance for example! (Heh, see what I did there?) This is not the end of the world however as there are various ways to get rid of it, e.g. the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, or in extreme cases some of the techniques which I describe in my blog-posts about Vampires (see here and here). Furthermore, one can reinforce this by actively attracting positive and beneficial influences (see, e.g. here).

There is a remote, and I stress the word remote possibility that it is a real entity sent by someone nasty: however this is unlikely to be the case. The vast majority of people complaining about being psychically attacked by someone else are in fact nothing of the sort – if anything they are just severe cases of people attracting bad influences on themselves, in the manner I describe above. In any event, remedies such as the LBRP etc should be more than enough to protect you.

By now you should be reading these lines and becoming more and more fascinated with the idea of hiring the services which only I can provide. You will be pleased to know that you can contact me further to discuss hiring me. Hope the tour goes well,

Love,

Alex.

*NB: I may have said F O C but this applies only to my ghost-busting efforts. I still charge expenses!

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