Tag Archives: Sarcasm

The Truth About The Golden Dawn!!!

Disguising myself as a human being, I teleported to London, England, last night in order to attend a talk upon the Golden Dawn. I shall not reveal the precise location of the talk, nor who gave it, for reasons which I fear will become all too obvious.

Anywho – I have now been informed of the Truth about the Golden Dawn! So all you people like Chic Cicero, Robert Zink, David Griffin, Nick Farrell, Pat Zalewski, etc etc take note! Here is what I was told (I shit ye not):

  • William Wynn Westcott did not play a major part in forming or running the Golden Dawn. He did not translate the Cipher Manuscripts, and when Macgregor Mathers emigrated to Paris, he did not run the English branch of the Order as Chief Adept in Anglia until his resignation in 1897.
  • Westcott also was a fuddy duddy old man with a long grey beard when the Golden Dawn began, even though he was only 39 years old at the time.
  • Samuel and Moina Mathers translated the Cipher manuscripts themselves.
  • Moina persuaded Annie Horniman to join the GD by saying “Hey, it’s really cool, it’s like dropping acid.”
  • When Macgregor & Moina Mathers emigrated to Paris, they retired from the Golden Dawn altogether and did not really do anything more for the Order (like creating the 5=6 ritual, designing the Vault of the Adepti or coming up with the inner order curriculum) from that point on.
  • Florence Farr was thus left as the sole chief in charge. She and W B Yeats wrote a load of new rituals for the Golden Dawn, which can be found in Regardie’s Black Brick. Probably.
  • George Bernard Shaw was a member of the GD. So too was Oscar Wilde’s wife Constance who, despite only turning up for her neophyte ceremony and then not appearing in the Temple again, was a member of long-standing.
  • No-one in the Golden Dawn who attended a temple outside London ever did anything of note, ever.

So let this be a lesson for you whenever someone purports to tell you the history of the GD!


Filed under Rant

The Controversy of Astral Initiations

Burn Da Herb, Not Da Quran

Scanning the news today I note that Pastor Terry Jones, the man behind the infamous abortive Quran-burning stunt back in September, is allegedly threatening to grace the United Kingdom with his presence. He is supposedly going to be addressing a meeting of a far-right organisation in Luton – a town in Bedfordshire which so happens to have a large Muslim community.

Let us not forget that due to the successful efforts of mainly yours truly, and to a lesser extent several world-leaders and all right thinking people generally, this guy backed down from his antics last time. It may therefore be just another publicity stunt … However: just in case it isn’t, there is now a mass debate in Britain at the moment, as to whether he should be banned from entering the country or not. On the one hand, there are a load of bleeding hearts saying “freedom of speech!” etc. On the other, there are a load of law-abiding citizens in Luton who don’t want to get caught up in a riot or violent demonstration. IMHO, the way to appease both sides of the argument is so simple it is a no-brainer – SKYPE. He can address all his racist friends from Florida, without having to come anywhere near dear old Blighty. Result: riot-averted, freedom of speech preserved.

But I digress.

This has got me thinking about the wider use of modern technology generally, whilst more specifically in the context of magic. For example: could not Skype be used to link together distant magicians so they can perform a ritual? If your Golden Dawn temple does not have five adepts to sit on the Dais, you could instead set up a data-projector and a screen in the East of the room!!! Let’s face it, some Golden Dawn orders purport to conduct “astral initiations” at the moment, so it should not be too much of a stretch to conduct an initiation by Skype. If anything it would be more authentic, because you would actually see the officers conducting your astral initiation, and thus be reassured that they are not just sitting around eating pizza instead. Needless to say though that if it were a Golden Dawn Neophyte ceremony, in order to replicate the effect of a hood-wink, you would be staring at a blank screen for most of the ceremony.


Filed under Comment, Rant, Supernatural