Category Archives: Comment

March 15, 2013 · 11:00 am

What The Stars Have In Store For Pope Francis I: Update

It's Jim Bowen off Bullseye actually.

His Holiness Pope Francis I

NB: This is an updated version of the page which originally appeared here.

Pope Francis I (born Jorge Maria Berguglio, December 17 1936 in Buenos Aires) was announced as the new Pontiff at 7.06pm local time at the Vatican City. Using this information I have attempted to draw up charts for Francis I himself and for the moment of his election, and compare the two.

I found myself, however, up against an immediate problem that I did not have birth-time data for the new Pope: I have therefore attempted a spot of Chart Rectification. Looking back through the notable events in his life so far, according to his Wikipedia entry, I noticed that in 2001 not only was the then Archbishop Berguglio appointed Cardinal, but he also attracted a lot of (favourable) publicity to himself by visiting an AIDS hospice in Argentina. I am therefore willing to bet that the date of his appointment as Cardinal coincided with Jupiter crossing his Midheaven. This would imply that his Midheaven is 2º 25′ Gemini.

Based on this assumption, Pope Francis I’s birth-time according to his rectified chart would be 11.09pm (local time for Buenos Aires). This would make him a Sun-Sagittarius with Leo-Rising.

Inner Ring: (rectified) natal chart for Pope Francis I (Cardinal Jorge Berguglio)Outer ring: chart for announcement of his election as Pope.

Inner Ring: (rectified) natal chart for Pope Francis I (Cardinal Jorge Berguglio)
Outer ring: chart for announcement of his election as Pope.

There are a number of intriguing observations to be drawn from both the Rectified Natal Chart and the chart for his election as Pope, e.g.:

  • Jupiter is transitting his tenth house. Of this my crib sheet says:

This is a time to gain in status, particularly on the professional front, but could also indicate marriage in some cases. Jupiter in your tenth house is a very fortunate place for this expansive planet. Increased public recognition and professional success characterizes this position.

Whilst a Cardinal he was doctrinally conservative, so thoughts of marriage can probably be discounted. Note that this applies to a general period in Pope Francis’ life which started approximately three months ago and whill last over a year.

  • Comedy planet Uranus, previously identified with signalling the decline of the Catholic Church in general and the previous Pope in particular, is square to Francis I’s natal Sun and Caput Draconis. Of this angle, my crib sheet says:

You may have to control an urge to rebel and be different that could set your ambitions and goals back a step … Unexpected changes, upheavals, surprises, reversals, discontentment, and a break from the safe and predictable characterize this time period.

  • Despite this though, Uranus is not in such a bad position in relation to Francis I as it was to Benedict XVI. E.g. it is trine to both his natal Moon and Venus, which would suggest that he is in the mood for partying and having fun! This does not strike me as a particularly apostolic thing to be doing but hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.
  • Also, I will just make the note that the Moon is some nine degrees past the last planet (Uranus, coincidentally) in a Cardinal sign and in an angular house, which would suggest that Berguglio’s accession to the Papacy was effectively in the bag nine days ago, on March 4th. It is also opposite the new Pope’s natal Mars, suggesting that he faced some exceedingly bitter arguments in the conclave (reinforced by transitting Mars square to his natal Sun).

General Predictions for Pope Francis’ Papacy

Unfortunately for those hoping for an early end to the Catholic Church, it is exceedingly unlikely during the reign of this particular Pontiff. Looking at the chart for the announcement of Pope Francis’ election – the Sun, representing the government of the church, is fairly free of bad aspects but conjunct Mars and Venus. This would suggest that the new Pope Francis will bring a new burst of energy to the papacy, increase the Church’s patronage of the Arts, and generally solve disputes rather than cause or exacerbate them.

However, it is not all good news. Jupiter, representing the Hierarchy (i.e. the priests and bishops), is square to Mercury (retrograde), the planet of unfortunate PR disasters, and Neptune, the planet of shady cover-ups – suggesting that scandal will nevertheless dog the Church during Francis’ reign. NB: I mean revelations of new scandal, rather than just continuations of the current ones.

Also: Pluto, the planet of large explosions, is giving grief to Uranus, the planet of revolutionary change, so whilst this Papacy may not see the end of the church per se, the fervour of the Church’s enemies will not be undimmed, and there will even be at least one major terrorist atrocity which badly affects the Church.

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March 7, 2013 · 11:06 am

Now available in Salem, Missouri!

News today that a Federal Judge has ordered the town library of Salem, Mo., to un-censor pagan and wiccan websites. This comes after a pagan lady attempted to use the public terminals to research death and death rituals in minority religions but was prevented from doing so, on the grounds that the Library’s filtering software had been set to prevent access to undesirable content. The Library staff refused to change the settings when the plaintiff complained to them.

The Judge however ruled that as a public body, the Library was obliged to abide by the First Amendment to the Constitution: the filtering employed by the Library discriminated against pagan religions, hence it was unconstitutional.

There is a happy side-effect to this! Apparently,

* The library’s board agreed Tuesday it would not place filters that blocked “occult” websites, among others, as it had done in the past.

This must surely mean that now, the good people of Salem, Missouri have the opportunity to visit my website as well! In which case I would like to extend my heartiest of welcomes to everyone from Salem visiting my site for the first time. I hope you enjoy your stay here, and I assure you that my occult thrillers are quite reasonably priced. 😉

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February 25, 2013 · 4:46 pm

The Age of Uranus

Quiz: spot the Crook in this picture.

Quiz: spot the Crook in this picture.

Fate can be a cruel altar boy sometimes. Not only has it seen fit to depose Pope Benedict XVI, it has now got rid of Cardinal Keith O’Brien, Archbishop of St Andrews & Edinburgh. Unfortunately, given the circumstances of his departure, he only had twenty more days before retirement anyway, so in terms of damage to the Catholic Church the point is almost academic.

Nevertheless: when looking for the stars of the day, I cannot help but notice that the same planet that figured so highly in the chart for the Pope’s departure is also prominent in that of the Cardinal’s, viz. Uranus. However, whereas in the Pope’s case I am willing to believe that His Holiness’ departure is genuinely due to the decrepitude of old age (because he is currently undergoing a Uranus-return), O’Brien’s recession is far more intriguing.

Outer ring: chart for O'Brien's departure, 25th Feb 2013Inner ring: O'Brien's birth chart, 17th March 1938 (times approximated to 12 noon in both cases)

Outer ring: chart for O’Brien’s departure, 25th Feb 2013
Inner ring: O’Brien’s birth chart, 17th March 1938 (times approximated to 12 noon in both cases)

O’Brien (born 17th March 1938, Ballycastle, Northern Ireland), has Uranus, the planet of forced resignation, transitting Venus, the planet of inappropriate touching, Saturn, the planet of bringing things like one’s career to an end, and Mercury, the planet of public scandal. Of these three, Saturn is the slowest moving one, indicating what we already knew, that the end of O’Brien’s career would happen in this general time-period, whilst Venus and Mercury indicate the particular nature of his departure.

Hence, Uranus has seen off two senior figures in the Catholic Church, though for different reasons. This has given the Sumner Family Brain Cell an idea.

There is a saying bandied about by some astrologers that the discovery of each of the new Planets had something to say about the age in which it was discovered. Uranus was discovered in 1781, leading some to associate it with the birth of USA (the American Revolutionary War ended that year), or of the Industrial Revolution, but more generally speaking it came at the end of the Age of Enlightenment – which from a philosophical point of view marked the beginning of the decline of the Christian Church. (NB: from a Postmodernist point of view, the decline in popularity of a thing is not a valid indicator of its worth). Hence I am tempted to speculate that this is the real meaning of the Age of Uranus – that of the decline of Christianity as an organised religion. We may therefore keep a track of this planet’s movements to see how much further it goes down the plughole of history in the future.

 

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February 15, 2013 · 6:40 pm

Russian Meteor Conspiracy Theory

OK, so a meteor supposedly exploded over the Ural mountains the same day as another asteroid is going to zip underneath some of our communication satellites. Coincidence? I think not!

Seriously though, the meteor today had an explosive yield equivalent to a small tactical nuclear device air-bursting in the atmosphere. Although lots of people were injured, the damage was as nothing compared to the infamous Tunguska incident in 1908, which it is estimated had a yield equivalent to a maximum of 30 megatons of TNT. By way of comparison, this is 1000 times that of Nagasaki, and 2/3 that of the largest nuclear device known to have been exploded ever.

I say known to have exploded, because, seriously, how do we know it was a real meteorite? This leads me to my Grand Conspiracy Theory – which, if any Hollywood Film Producers are reading, is © me, Alex Sumner 2013, and I will only accept serious donations to the Alex Sumner Appreciation Fund to licence it out. It is this:

THE SHADOW WORLD GOVERNMENT IS GETTING US USED TO ASTEROIDS NEAR-MISSING US AND AIR-BURSTING IN THE UPPER ATMOSPHERE, SO WE WON’T NOTICE THEM DROPPING ACTUAL NUCLEAR MISSILES ON US!!!

Think about it. If you read descriptions of e.g. the Tunguska event, you will notice that the recorded phenomena are indistinguishable from that of an air-bursting nuclear device, to wit: a blinding flash of light; intense heat; a blast wave; and the sound of a large explosion. Hence, if the Shadow World Government wanted, they could detonate a nuclear device over someone they don’t like, and then get their contacts in the media to report it as another meteor. Sounds implausible? Not if they public are already used to the idea of meteors hitting the earth.

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February 11, 2013 · 4:34 pm

Pope Forced To Resign… by Uranus

Darth Sidious aka the Pope

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI

For someone who famously made remarks criticising Gay Marriage, I find it ironic that Pope Benedict XVI has been forced to resign by comedy planet Uranus. Yes indeed! For that is the interpretation I have come up with by comparing the Pope’s birth-chart with one drawn up for the announcement of his resignation yesterday.

Pope Benedict XVI was born Joseph Aloysius Ratzinger at 0830 on 16th April 1927 at Marktl in Germany. Interestingly he had both Mars and Caput Draconis on his Ascendant, indicating that he was destined to come across as a pugnacious individual. Also, Mars was square to his Mercury, Jupiter and Natal Uranus, showing that his aggressive persona would hold back his ability to express himself clearly, get in the way of his ability to lead as Pope (in mundane astrology Jupiter represents the clergy), and make him react combatively if anything revolutionary came along.

Inner ring: Pope Benedict XVI's natal chart.Outer ring: the timing of his resignation statement.

Inner ring: Pope Benedict XVI’s natal chart.
Outer ring: the timing of his resignation statement.

Indeed, Uranus was transitting his Mid-heaven when he first became Pope in 2005! The planet though is a slow-moving one, indicating that the issue which has led to his resignation has been hanging over him for some time. Why has he announced it now? Probably because a whole load of other planets are transitting his mid-heaven, which would affect his relationship to his career and society at large.

This has given me an idea.

I, Alex Sumner, offer my services to the Conclave of the College of Cardinals due to take place on February 28th 2013 – as the in-house astrologer! I shall draw up charts for all the leading Papabile so that I can give everyone an informed opinion of who is likely to make a good Pope or not. This I am willing to do without payment per se, but I will need certain expenses to wit:

  • Return air fare to Rome, obviously;
  • Free unfettered access to the Vatican’s repository of ancient occult manuscripts – as well as a decent photocopier;
  • Most importantly: given that no-one except a Cardinal will be allowed in the Sistine Chapel after the doors are closed, you are going to have to make me a Cardinal. I think you will find that technically there is no rule against someone who is not a bishop or even ordained priest being appointed, it’s just that it’s never been done. Before now.

So there you have it. Obviously some things go without saying, like being allowed to sneak out of the Sistine Chapel to indulge my creature comforts using the secret passageway in the Vatican.

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January 9, 2013 · 12:46 pm

The End of The World Is Back On For 2036!

You have the power to make a whole lot of cash on the stock market! Simply buy shares in companies who specialise in pulping books – as there are a whole load of apocalyptic 2012 pseudo-Mayan pseudo-prophecy type titles which are now no longer hilariously out of date. And, need I remind you that my record in giving out stock market tips is currently 100% (i.e. one out of one) !

However before we rest easy and for once in human history concentrate on living in the moment for a change, we must beware: not necessarily of the End of the World itself, but because the streets and fields will henceforth be filled with vast numbers of strange people shambling aimlessly, attempting to suck the life out of all right-thinking people. I’m not talking about Zombies – I’m talking about Millenarians in search of an Apocalypse. Although I might as well be talking about Zombies, but that is by the by.

The point is, though, that as I first became aware of the Y2K phenomenon many years ago, I perceived that there was a large class of people who were actually looking forward to the end of the world, not with any appreciable joy but out of pure Masochism – and not in the nice sense either, but in the Freudian. Then of course when the Y2K phenomenon did not happen, the same people transferred their hopes of the world’s imminent cataclysmic destruction to the purported end of the Mayan long-count calendar in 2012.

I therefore deduced that there are certain people who are never happy in this world unless they think it is ending. And this was before I had ever heard of Norman Cohn’s book The Pursuit of the Millennium which basically says hey, this has been happening since at least the middle ages.

Behold Apophis, bringer of destruction to mankind! Possibly.

Behold Apophis, bringer of destruction to mankind! Possibly.

Now I could hope that these Millenarians will finally get over themselves, but that would be to blatantly ignore the effects of Cognitive Dissonance. I am therefore going to predict that these people will transfer their attention to a brand new apocalyptic frenzy, and moreover I am willing to bet (if I can find an amenable bookmaker that is) that the “next big thing” will be 2036. According to a report in today’s Daily Telegraph, an asteroid named Apophis will make a near miss today … but will circle back round and might hit our planet in twenty three years time. If it does hit, it is conservatively estimated there will be an explosion with the equivalent of a least 500 megatonnes of TNT, or to put it another way, ten very large Hydrogen bombs. Nice.

Apophis was apparently so named because of the villain in Stargate. Now let us assume for one moment Apophis does come around and heads directly toward us in 2036. We can bet that there will be a space mission launched to make some sort of token effort to avert doomsday – so it will be interesting to see what it is called. If the people in charge at Mission Command know their Golden Dawn, it will obviously be called Osiris. If they are more classical scholars it will probably be called Ra, although if they are fans of Kenneth Grant they will probably opt for Set.

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December 12, 2012 · 11:53 am

Apocalypse is coming … A Week Early

catdogGood news: the world is not going to end on December 21st 2012, as the Mayans (supposedly) predicted. Yay! 🙂

Bad news: it’s actually ending on the 17th instead – next Monday. 😦

The whole business about the hysteria surrounding the end of the Mayan Long Count calendar is based upon the idea that the end of the cycle is occurring at the same time the Sun, Earth and Galactic Centre are in alignment. Actually this is a gross over simplification. The whole business is actually based upon exploiting the pathetic neuroses of a large number of gullible people who feel their lives have no meaning if they aren’t looking forward to the end of the world. But I digress. The sun / earth / galactic centre coincidence is what is mainly fuelling the pre-occupation with the forthcoming end of the Mayan Calendar.

There is at least one problem with this however: the Sun, Earth and Galactic Centre won’t actually be aligning on December 21st – they will already have come into alignment four days previously: at 10.46pm GMT on Monday 17th December 2012, to be exact.

The exact position of the Galactic Centre is 17h 45m 40.4s of Right Ascension – which in terms of the Tropical Zodiac is equivalent to 26º 25′ 6″ Sagittarius. It is fairly easy to use astrology software to find out when the Sun will share the same degree of longitude, and hence mark the moment of the Sun – Earth alignment (see above).

But before we get too upset and be all doomy and gloomy, there are a number of reasons to say that even this will not mark the end of the world per se. Firstly, the Sun / Earth / Galactic Centre line up on a regular basis: once a year, every year, around about the same date. Hence, instead of looking forward to the end of the world just in 2012, we ought by rights to be looking forward to it every year!

Secondly, although the Galactic Centre is 17h 45m 40.4s Right Ascension, its Declination is -29° 00′ 28.1″. Note that because of the tilt of the Earth, the Sun’s own declination can never fall below -23º 30′, so in fact on the day of the alignment the Galactic centre won’t actually be completely aligned with the Sun and Earth but will appear (or would appear if it were visible) slightly beneath the Sun from our point of view. Five and a half degrees may not sound like much to you and me, but in terms of heavenly bodies, one of which is 27,000 light years away, the difference quite literally is astronomical.

Thirdly, were I to invoke astrology, I would say that looking at a chart drawn for the moment of the alignment does not actually show anything remarkable. If I were to predict what will happen on that day I would say that probably there would be yet another dip on the stock market occurring at the same time as yet another prominent public figure being revealed as part of a shady cover-up, leading to widespread public outrage. So in other words, just an ordinary day like any other – but crucially not the end of the world.

Horoscope drawn for the exact moment of Sun / Earth / Galactic Centre alignment 2012

Horoscope drawn for the exact moment of Sun / Earth / Galactic Centre alignment 2012

Interestingly though, I have heard anecdotal evidence that there is a statistical correlation between when the Sun is aligned with the Galactic centre and an increase of psychic activity on planet Earth. I therefore suggest the following course of action for the poor benighted inhabitants of this planet.

  1. If you are a magician – use the evening (Monday) for conducting magical rituals.
  2. If you are a policeman – may I suggest there is another nonce waiting to be arrested as part of Operation Yew Tree, so please do so.
  3. If you are an investor – go short on the stock market.
  4. Everyone else – calm down, calm down!

Finally, as to December 21st itself, may I suggest that it probably won’t be the end of the world: it is however the last Friday before Christmas, so it is a perfect time to go out and have a party – which is probably how the Mayans would have celebrated the end of their calendar anyway.

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November 21, 2012 · 11:39 am

XX Bishops

Two years ago the Catholic Church ruled out the Ordination of Women as Priests: now the Church of England has ruled out the female bishops. Now the thing is that Bishops are traditionally the successors of the Apostles: hence if it had been the case there were female Apostles, then it is theologically correct to have female Bishops.

In a blog post I wrote two years ago, I advanced an argument to say there is scriptural evidence that there were indeed female Apostles! Note that this is nothing to do with revisionism, but the correct reading of the original scriptures.

I do hope, however, that the Church of England can sort this out in-house. There is a distressing number of people saying that Parliament should now overrule the General Synod. I hope this does not happen. As I understand the term, Freedom of Religion is supposed to mean Freedom from Government interference in Religion. If this is meant to be a human right – as the UN Declaration on Human Rights, the European Convention on Human Rights, etc would suggest – then it ought not to be qualified by adding “… but only when you don’t do anything the Government disapproves,” otherwise it is not a real right at all.

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October 31, 2012 · 7:57 pm

The Truth About Dracula: A Halloween Special

Bela Lugosi as Dracula

So, everyone knows that Dracula is the most awesome vampire ever in English literature. And before anyone dares to mention Ed Cullen, I should point out that he fails to qualify both in terms of “awesome” and indeed “literature.” 😛 I actually have a niggling problem with Dracula though: it is this –

Dracula represents the fear of the outsider – fear of the foreigner. As a rich man he also represents the poor man’s fear that the upper classes are screwing him over. Given that he attempts to steal Jonathan Harker’s fiancée, he represents the fear of every man, that some stranger is giving your woman a far better time than you could possibly hope to achieve. He is, not to put to fine a point on it, Castration Anxiety personified.

Count Dracula is thus a perfect monster, but what he is not is a character. I say this because Dracula is aristocratic, rich, owns vast tracts of land, has a coterie of sexy lady Vampires with whom to share his enormous castle, and can snack on any of the local peasants whenever he feels hungry. Yet nowhere in Bram Stoker’s original novel is there any explanation as to why he would want to give all of this up, and move to Whitby – of all places!

Winona Ryder

Francis Ford Coppola sensed this fundamental flaw in the novel which is why he invented a back-story for Dracula for his film, namely that the Count was searching for his lost love. Given that she was played by Winona Ryder, he could have just done this by staying in Transylvania and following police-reports and in-store CCTV footage!

But was this what Bram Stoker originally intended? I mean about searching for a lost love, not about Winona Ryder, obviously. I discussed my concerns about Dracula with my fellow members of the Illuminati in the pub one afternoon. After recounting all the details to them, I asked: “So why would he want to move to Whitby?”

Inspiration seized one of my drinking companions. “They do nice fish and chips there!” he said.

“What?” I replied.

“They do nice fish and chips in Whitby! That’s why Count Dracula upped and moved to Yorkshire.”

So there you have it! For all the delights that rural Carpathia has to offer, the one thing that they have not is tasty battered (locally sourced) cod with chunky chips served with le purée de petit pois. I must say that given that I like a Fish Supper every once in a while – as well as liking Fish & Chips – I can to a certain extent sympathise with the old Count!

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October 13, 2012 · 11:27 am

Jimmy’s A Vile…

Over here in Britain, everyone’s gone sex-mad and not in a good way. First there was a notorious story of a teacher who ran off with a 15 year old school-girl. Then there was the revelations about the deceased disc jockey Jimmy Savile who it is claimed had a fondness for girls who were not legally competent – either by reason of age or physical disability. Now the can of worms is well and truly open and it seems that every person in broadcasting, alive or dead, who ever had a peccadilo is having their past come back to haunt them.

What is wrong with Britain? And why is it happening now?

It occurred to the Sumner Family Brain Cell to look to the stars for guidance. The Jimmy Savile story first broke on 30th September 2012 in the form of publicity for a forthcoming reveal-all documentary. At the time, Venus, the planet of relationships, was in opposition to retrograde Neptune, the planet of deceit and shameful cover-ups. Meanwhile, square to both of them (and thus making a T formation) was Mars, the planet of widespread public anger. Venus was thus challenging Mars to stir it into action; Mars was challenging Neptune. If only one more planet moved into formation, then there would have been a Grand Cross, a pattern associated with all hell breaking loose.

The Grand Cross occurred on 3rd October 2012, when the Moon duly obliged. Coincidentally this was the same day that the exposé about Jimmy Savile aired on ITV.

Chart drawn up for 3rd October 2012, at 23.10pm

Let us postulate that this stellar configuration does indeed have something to do with the scandal then breaking. The question then arises, why should this involve Jimmy Savile in particular? And not some other seedy character with skeletons in the living room? For this I calculated Jimmy’s birth chart, and then looked at the transits made therewith by the chart for 3rd October 2012.

Outer ring: planets as at 3rd October 2012, 23.10pm.
Inner ring: natal chart of Jimmy Savile, 31st October 1929, Leeds (birth-time approximated).

As you can see, the four planets of the Grand Cross were transitting his natal Neptune. Venus – conjunction; Neptune – opposition; Mars (and Caput Draconis), as well as the Moon on the other side – both Square.

It is interesting also to note Savile would have been experiencing a “Uranus Return” – and the Sun was in opposition to both the natal and transiting planets. I notice that one commentary about natal Uranus opposite transiting sun is you will do things that may alienate people. So all in all, it seems quite natural for these revelations to have come out when they did.

Finally, it is worth noting that this was a deceased man we are talking about – yet the stars still seemed to be affecting him! An argument if ever there was one for leading a good moral life while alive, as dying is not necessarily a means of escape. As a wise man (I believe it was Lemmy from Motorhead) once said: your bones will turn to dust, your possessions will be taken by other people, your money will pass back into the system,  but your reputation is the only thing you leave in this world which will still belong to you after your death.

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