What the stars have in store for… Baroness Thatcher’s Funeral

Margaret Thatcher

Margaret Thatcher

Margaret Thatcher (1925 – 2013), if the news is to be believed, must surely be the most controversial politician since Adolf Hitler. However, I am not going to use this blog post to any way hint that the similiarities are more than superficial. Oh no! Instead I am going to offer my comments on the news that her funeral is taking place on Wednesday 17th April 2013 at St Paul’s Cathedral.

The gist of my advice as an astrologer is as follows:

Avoid being in the City of London that day, as there is going to be a massive riot.

“Oh but Alex,” I hallucinate that I hear millions of you say. “Tell us something we don’t already know!” The fact is that the stars are actually confirming what most people are suspecting.

Here is a chart drawn up for the proposed time, date & place of the funeral.

Chart drawn up for 12 noon on 17th April 2013, London.NB: Uranus is square to Luna.

Chart drawn up for 12 noon on 17th April 2013, London.
NB: Uranus is square to Luna.


Now in Mundane astrology, the Moon represents the general populace, whilst Uranus is the planet of revolutionary change, rule-breaking, etc. Uranus is square to the Moon on the day of the funeral. Or in other words, Uranus the planet of widespread public disorder is agitating the Moon, the planet of the people to take to the streets.

Meanwhile, Pluto, the planet of secret conspiracies and explosive transformation, forms a T i.e. square to Uranus and opposite the Moon. So don’t be surprised if some terrorists are going to try and stir things up as well.

So, unless you are actually a rioter yourself, I would suggest staying out of the capital that day. Also, one should expect sporadic outbreaks of unrest for approximately two to three days thereafter.

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Helo, helo, helo, beth yw’r holl wedyn?

Four London Policeman in high visibility jackets

Four druids in traditional pagan costumes – according to the Daily Mail

News today that Nazi propaganda rag the Daily Mail continues its unhealthy fascination with pagans by running a piece on them that stoops to its usual levels of journalistic credibility. To wit: amongst the Metropolitan Police Force there are apparently four spiritualists, “a pagan and a DRUID” (sic) who are serving officers.

Yeah I know, technically they could have said “four spiritualists and two pagans,” and the article does correct itself later on. Still, what’s a little yellow-journalism when trying to concoct a good headline? Nevertheless: just in case there are Daily Mail readers coming to my blog to receive enlightenment to the true state of affairs, and more importantly for the comedy value to the rest of my millions of readers, I will continue.

This all comes about after someone made a Freedom of Information request to the Met in relation to non-mainstream religions. In relation to the one officer who is a druid, the Mail helpfully explains

According to the Romans, Druids practised human sacrifice 2,000 years ago, but modern day druidism – called neo-Druidism – focuses on the worship of nature, especially trees.

Pagans are described as people

… which worship a string of gods and festivals according to archaic religions which pre-date Christianity.

Spiritualists are described thus:

Spiritualists and mediums believe that there is life after death and that by holding seances, the dead can talk to the living, either through direct communication or the Ouija board.

(Emphasis mine).

I’m not actually sure that this is the case! If the marketing for Ouija boards is anything to go by, most of those who use them are silly people with no occult training who are out to scare themselves for kicks. Becoming a proper medium, on the other hand, involves several years training within a development circle, so that one learns not only to contact the departed but also to do so in a safe, respectful, and appropriate manner – and not to freak out when doing so. Nevertheless: I’m surprised they don’t employ more mediums – after all they could come in immensely useful in solving homicide cases!

Mercifully, the Daily Mail goes on to reassure us that:

The list found that no officers were Devil worshippers – also known as Occultists …

Cheers, Daily Mail, for lumping all occultists as Devil worshippers! Nevertheless, though, the good news is that police officers are perfectly entitled, legally speaking, to hold beliefs such as paganism and druidism due to freedom of religion being enshrined in UK Human rights law. However, perhaps the most blatant display of editorial bias on the Daily Mail’s part is that in relation to advice from the Equality and Human Rights Commission, the paper says:

Druids, vegans and green activists should be given special treatment at work, according to ‘lunatic’ advice from the equalities watchdog.

(Emphasis mine)

Inevitably the last word is given to a rent-a-quote Tory MP, Dominic Raab, who says

This is a recipe for every crank and crazy to take their boss for a ride. The EHRC has become an expensive taxpayer-funded laughing stock.

So next time you are in London for a drunken night-out in Leicester Square – or celebrating the death of Britain’s greatest Prime Ministeror both – spare a thought that there is a one in 15,500 chance that the officer arresting you is in fact a Pagan, and consequently liable to be labelled by the Mail as a lunatic.

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“Tarot readers and fortune tellers and fortune tellers cannot save you, says Pope Francis.”

 

The Pope

The Pope

News today that Jim Bowen lookalike and head of the Roman Catholic Church Pope Francis has told a congregation

“In order to solve their problems many people resort to fortune tellers and tarot cards. But only Jesus saves, and we must bear witness to this! He is the only one.”

Now I’m a tarot reader amongst other things, so I could be forgiven for interpreting this as a dig at me! In fact, what I would actually say that if the operative word in this sentence is “saves” then technically the Pope is correct. Tarot cards do not “save” someone, in the sense of salvation of ones immortal soul. One has to look to the theology of ones own religion to determine what is necessary for such salvation.

However the Pope does make a terrible leap from going from “solving problems” to talking about “salvation.” The Tarot does help solve peoples problems – it gives suggestions and makes people think of things that they would not otherwise think about. The Tarot encourages and stimulates an intuitive approach which draws out answers from the praeternatural regions of consciousness. Who would turn down the opportunity of asking a friend for advice by saying: “I’m sorry I cannot listen to your opinion – because only Jesus saves.” ?

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What The Stars Have In Store for… Kim Jong-Un

Nuclear Explosion

Just saying.

Basketball-loving dictator Kim Jong-Un has been in the news this week. I personally think he is getting a bad press. After all, who among us, if they became a despot, would not immediately start by drawing up a list of countries to nuke? He’s only human after all!

Nevertheless, after my spectacular success with the new Pope the other day, I have decided to bring my powers of astrology to bear on the Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

Kim Jong-Un’s Natal Chart

Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong Un

The first problem one comes up against as an astrologer is that there is very little publicly available information about Kim Jong-Un. For example, Wikipedia says:

North Korean authorities have stated that his birthdate is January 8, 1982, but outside speculation by analysts and observers believe his birthdate to be around 1983 or early 1984.

Helpful, this is not! Nevertheless, I shall humour the North Korean authorities for one moment by assuming that their data is in fact accurate. I shall further make the assumption that KJU was born in the general vicinity of Pyongyang. I have used an approximated birth-time (12 noon local time). The resulting chart would therefore look like this:

Kim

Very much approximated natal chart for Kim Jong Un

NB: Mars and Pluto both square Sun – this man was born with serious chip on his shoulder!

As a Sun Capricorn, Moon Gemini person, other astrologers have speculated that

Your friends are likely to tell you that you could do better, more important work if you tried, and they are probably right. But so long as you are getting some degree of acclaim you are not likely to bother.

And:

You run the risk of getting hypnotized by the sound of your own voice and of conceiving yourself in too heroic proportions: thus you run the risk of pomposity. You don’t like to be laughed at, and while relishing a joke, prefer to have someone else the butt of it.

Source: Horoscopespot.net

Mr Bean has the same Sun-Moon combination as the Supreme Leader of North Korea.

Mr Bean has the same Sun-Moon combination as the Supreme Leader of North Korea.

Other famous celebrities with the combination Sun Capricorn, Moon Gemini include Joan Baez, Jim Carrey, and Rowan Atkinson.

Kim Jong-Un’s Accession to Power

Kim Jong-Un was proclaimed Supreme Leader on 28 December 2011. A chart drawn up for that event, compared with the (approximated) natal chart above, shows the following:

Inner ring: KJU's natal chart.Outer ring: Chart for KJU's accession to power.

Inner ring: KJU’s natal chart.
Outer ring: Chart for KJU’s accession to power.

 As you can see, not only did KJU recently have his Saturn-return (which everyone does roundabout that age), but Saturn was transitting Pluto, the planet of Explosive Transformations. A Saturn-Return marks a decisive event in one’s life which is the signal to make the transition from youth to the responsibilities of adulthood. For most people this would be something like settling down, getting a proper job, getting married, start thinking about kids, etc. For Kim Jong Un, it was becoming dictator of a south-east Asian country.

As regards the Saturn-Pluto transit, Cafe Astrology says (inter alia):

Your first reaction to any changes coming into your life is to hold onto those things which once symbolized security for you and which now seem to be under attack.

And

Try not to react automatically when something you’ve cherished seems to be threatened.

And even:

This is a difficult time period when unexpected demands and responsibilities arise. It seems as if every weak link in your life decides to break now! New obligations are likely to arise both in your personal life and your work.

We may thus begin to understand that when Kim Jong-Un did accede to power, it was at a very stressful time in his life for him, so we should not be surprised that he has so far reacted in the way he has.

The Future For North Korea

“But what,” I hallucinate that I hear you ask, “does the future hold for North Korea under Kim Jong-Un’s rule?” An indication of the likely direction of KJU’s time in power can be gained by looking at the chart for his accession – the outer ring of the chart above. The Sun (representing KJU’s regime itself) and Pluto (the planet of things happening away from public sight), would indicate that KJU is more than ever obsessed with the secrecy which has characterised North Korean politics up to now, and probably has no qualms about resorting to torture and other human rights abuses of political opponents. Sun trine Jupiter would suggest that KJU will find it straightforward to establish his own personality cult. Moreover, the Sun/Pluto square to Uranus also suggests that KJU sees it as his especial mission to harass and bully nearby capitalist regimes, i.e. South Korea, and its allies the United States.

But… does KJU actually want to start a war? I would be inclined to speculate no. The planet Mars in this chart does not appear to form an inharmonious or challenging angle with the Sun, which is what I would have expected had KJU was actually looking forward to hostilities. (Contrast this with a chart drawn up for the coming to power of the current UK government, when the Sun, Moon, and Mars formed a nasty T pattern. Within a year, Britain was involved in new hostilities in Libya).

Mars, however, does form a challenging angle with Mercury, suggesting that the current publicity KJU is generating is essentially posturing and rhetoric. More worryingly, though, it may also indicate the violent repression of freedom of the press, communication,  and writers in general – so don’t expect any of my books to be available in North Korea any time soon.

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Bloghopping: Alex Sumner talks about his forthcoming new work

I am participating in a blog hop of Visionary Fiction Authors. For more details, please see Sandy Nathan’s YOUR SHELF LIFE.

Anyway, here are my answers to some questions she’s posed:

“The Demon Detective” by Alex Sumner

1. What is the working title of your book or project?

“How To Cast A Love Spell” – a novella, in the series “The Demon Detective, and other stories.”

2. Where did the idea come from for the book or project?

A friend of mine said to me “Alex, why don’t you write a post on your website about how to cast a love spell?” After giving this some thought I decided to make it the theme of a new fictional story, instead of a blog post per se. I thought that discussing the issues involved – both how to cast a love spell, and why it is not necessarily a clever idea to do so – would sound a lot more fun and interesting if cast in the form of an adventure story, than if I were to just write something sententious and preachy about it.

3. What genre does it fall under, if any?

Dark fantasy, with a large dash of (cough) “Romance.”

Angelina Jolie

4. If applicable, who would you choose to play your characters in a movie?

Johnny Depp

Guy Shepardson, the lead-male character, would have to be someone with suave, dark, good-looks, perhaps like Johnny Depp. The lead-female character would have to be someone very beautiful and with a commanding screen presence – like Angelina Jolie.

Basically, my story is the one they should have adapted to film, instead of that god-awful mess “The Tourist.”

5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your manuscript or project?

“Fifty Shades Of Satan.”

6. Will your book or story be self-published or represented by an agency?

Probably the former, unless something drastic happens in the next couple of months.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

It’s still a WIP! I do find, though, that it’s going very quickly – probably because I myself enjoy the story so much.

8. What other book or stories would you compare this story to within the genre?

The nearest analogue I suppose would be the paranormal romance stories of Christine Feehan. This book will be nothing like Feehan’s though. I deliberately go in a different direction and follow my own path.

The Goetia of the Lesser Key of Solomon

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book or story?

Apart from my friend coming up with the original idea (see my answer to question 2), it is generally inspired by a demonic grimoire known as The Goetia. I should hasten to point out that demonic-magick is a complex matter. The issues raised are akin to Jungian notions of integrating the Shadow into the Self, rather than a straightforward Manichean good-vs-evil duality.

10. What else about the book or story might pique the reader’s interest?

Apart from a large number of scenes of extremely lusty wish-fulfillment on the part of the lead-female character, it does actually contain details of real magick in it!

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Anne Thériault's avatarThe Belle Jar

If there is one thing that drives me absolutely bananas, it’s people spreading misinformation via social media under the guise of “educating”. I’ve seen this happen in several ways – through infographics that twist data in ways that support a conclusion that is ultimately false, or else through “meaningful” quotes falsely attributed to various celebrities, or by cobbling together a few actual facts with statements that are patently untrue to create something that seems plausible on the surface but is, in fact, full of crap.

Yesterday, the official Facebook page of (noted misogynistandeugenicsenthusiast) Richard Dawkins’ Foundation for Reason and Science shared the following image to their 637,000 fans:

Naturally, their fans lapped this shit up; after all, this is the kind of thing they absolutely live for. Religious people! Being hypocritical! And crazy! And wrong! The 2,000+ comments were chock-full of smug remarks…

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Books: Saving the world from annoying music!

Books

You have the power to get annoying repetitive music out of your head – simply by reading a good book! So say scientists at Western Washington University. Incidentally, this story was reported in the Daily Telegraph only today, so it’s probably so ancient it’s already been peer-reviewed.

Anyhow: the trick is to provide the brain with a sufficiently tough challenge to engage the intellect – such as reading an interesting novel. This apparently gets rid of the said “ear-worms.”

Needless to say: I have a whole load of publications which I cheerfully recommend to this purpose.

Alternatively, getting involved with trying to work out anagrams is also alleged to do the trick. Well, meck fu! 🙂

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Message to the people of Cyprus

Aphrodite, accompanied by her nymphs.

Aphrodite, accompanied by her nymphs.

The island of Cyprus is the birth-place of the goddess Aphrodite, and she remains the patron goddess of this island even to the present day. She is concerned for Her people in their current time of crisis and wishes that they would call on Her more often. Invoking Aphrodite would be the way for the Cypriot people to find a solution to their current dilemma. (Message ends).

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Love Friday 2013 (vlog)


In which I announce the date of the most favourable day this year for invoking the planet Venus, the planet of Love and Romance: FRIDAY 22ND MARCH 2013.

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March 18, 2013 · 10:38 pm

What The Stars Have In Store For Pope Francis I: Update

It's Jim Bowen off Bullseye actually.

His Holiness Pope Francis I

NB: This is an updated version of the page which originally appeared here.

Pope Francis I (born Jorge Maria Berguglio, December 17 1936 in Buenos Aires) was announced as the new Pontiff at 7.06pm local time at the Vatican City. Using this information I have attempted to draw up charts for Francis I himself and for the moment of his election, and compare the two.

I found myself, however, up against an immediate problem that I did not have birth-time data for the new Pope: I have therefore attempted a spot of Chart Rectification. Looking back through the notable events in his life so far, according to his Wikipedia entry, I noticed that in 2001 not only was the then Archbishop Berguglio appointed Cardinal, but he also attracted a lot of (favourable) publicity to himself by visiting an AIDS hospice in Argentina. I am therefore willing to bet that the date of his appointment as Cardinal coincided with Jupiter crossing his Midheaven. This would imply that his Midheaven is 2º 25′ Gemini.

Based on this assumption, Pope Francis I’s birth-time according to his rectified chart would be 11.09pm (local time for Buenos Aires). This would make him a Sun-Sagittarius with Leo-Rising.

Inner Ring: (rectified) natal chart for Pope Francis I (Cardinal Jorge Berguglio)Outer ring: chart for announcement of his election as Pope.

Inner Ring: (rectified) natal chart for Pope Francis I (Cardinal Jorge Berguglio)
Outer ring: chart for announcement of his election as Pope.

There are a number of intriguing observations to be drawn from both the Rectified Natal Chart and the chart for his election as Pope, e.g.:

  • Jupiter is transitting his tenth house. Of this my crib sheet says:

This is a time to gain in status, particularly on the professional front, but could also indicate marriage in some cases. Jupiter in your tenth house is a very fortunate place for this expansive planet. Increased public recognition and professional success characterizes this position.

Whilst a Cardinal he was doctrinally conservative, so thoughts of marriage can probably be discounted. Note that this applies to a general period in Pope Francis’ life which started approximately three months ago and whill last over a year.

  • Comedy planet Uranus, previously identified with signalling the decline of the Catholic Church in general and the previous Pope in particular, is square to Francis I’s natal Sun and Caput Draconis. Of this angle, my crib sheet says:

You may have to control an urge to rebel and be different that could set your ambitions and goals back a step … Unexpected changes, upheavals, surprises, reversals, discontentment, and a break from the safe and predictable characterize this time period.

  • Despite this though, Uranus is not in such a bad position in relation to Francis I as it was to Benedict XVI. E.g. it is trine to both his natal Moon and Venus, which would suggest that he is in the mood for partying and having fun! This does not strike me as a particularly apostolic thing to be doing but hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.
  • Also, I will just make the note that the Moon is some nine degrees past the last planet (Uranus, coincidentally) in a Cardinal sign and in an angular house, which would suggest that Berguglio’s accession to the Papacy was effectively in the bag nine days ago, on March 4th. It is also opposite the new Pope’s natal Mars, suggesting that he faced some exceedingly bitter arguments in the conclave (reinforced by transitting Mars square to his natal Sun).

General Predictions for Pope Francis’ Papacy

Unfortunately for those hoping for an early end to the Catholic Church, it is exceedingly unlikely during the reign of this particular Pontiff. Looking at the chart for the announcement of Pope Francis’ election – the Sun, representing the government of the church, is fairly free of bad aspects but conjunct Mars and Venus. This would suggest that the new Pope Francis will bring a new burst of energy to the papacy, increase the Church’s patronage of the Arts, and generally solve disputes rather than cause or exacerbate them.

However, it is not all good news. Jupiter, representing the Hierarchy (i.e. the priests and bishops), is square to Mercury (retrograde), the planet of unfortunate PR disasters, and Neptune, the planet of shady cover-ups – suggesting that scandal will nevertheless dog the Church during Francis’ reign. NB: I mean revelations of new scandal, rather than just continuations of the current ones.

Also: Pluto, the planet of large explosions, is giving grief to Uranus, the planet of revolutionary change, so whilst this Papacy may not see the end of the church per se, the fervour of the Church’s enemies will not be undimmed, and there will even be at least one major terrorist atrocity which badly affects the Church.

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