The German soccer team resorted to superstitious practices to beat England in the World Cup – they consulted PhD students who identified a number of fundamental mistakes that the team was repeatedly making. Pah! What an amateur approach! They should have used Astrology like I did! Far more reliable and a lot less effort. Never mind about Stevie G wandering in-field instead of staying on the wing, and all that malarchy. The fact that Fabio Capello’s native Sun squared both the transiting Saturn and Jupiter (+Uranus) told me straight away that he was not going to come out of the World Cup covered in glory.
Not that I’m saying that I would have helped Joachim Low instead of those PhD Students – I do have some sense of patriotism.