Alex Sumner: “My next novel won’t contain any Sex.”

Author Alex Sumner today revealed details about the new novel on which he is working.

“There was far too much sex in my first two novels, and I have therefore decided that there will not be even the merest suggestion of it in my work in the future. I realised that I wasn’t just an author of lusty tales of horror and the Occult – I am also a role-model for young people. Therefore I had to use my work to promote responsible behaviour at all times.

“Hence: the lead character will remain both chaste and sober, and will successfully resist temptation from anyone trying to lead her into sin. Furthermore, in order to promote the sanctity of marriage, she will most definitely not engage in pre-marital or extra-marital relationships of any kind.

“I have recently come to believe that the portrayal of women in fiction as independent, liberated and not beholden to any other person including their husband is just plain wrong, as it leads to all manner of licentious behaviour.

“This is due in no small part to my recently turning away from the Occult, and finding my true path as an extreme right-wing fundamentalist Christian. Hence – the hero in my new novel will turn out to be a Southern Baptist Minister, and any and all pagans in the novel will be depicted as evil, ugly, sexually-repressed playthings of Satan.

“Furthermore: in token of my new found life-path, I have decided to burn my entire collection of books relating to the Golden Dawn, Astrology, Yoga, Tantra, Paganism, Tarot, Franz Bardon, Dion Fortune, Mouni Sadhu, Lon Milo Duquette, Pat Zalewski, Poke Runyon, and Chic & Tabatha Cicero; and I have made a great bonfire of all my magical paraphernalia, robes, tools, talismans and my Tarot decks as well. I also burned my copy of the Jerusalem Bible, as it is well known that any other translation of the Good Book apart from the King James Version is doctrinally unsound, and tends to lead people to Satan.”

6 Comments

Filed under Books, Licence To Depart

6 responses to “Alex Sumner: “My next novel won’t contain any Sex.”

  1. Nick Farrell

    Alex does not burn his Nick Farrell books? This must be an April Fool

  2. bahahaha thanks, I needed a good laugh this morning.

  3. Norrin

    It is great news to read that you’ve changed your life. However, since you are an excellent researcher, I implore you to conduct research on the King James Bible and how it came about, who put it together, and why. This is not the best bible to use. Yes, I am Roman Catholic. And yes, this religion has its problems. But in the case of doctrine, no other religion is more accurate.

    • KJV not the best bible to use! Absolute heresy! Next you will be telling me that it would be more accurate to read the Gospels in the original Greek and Aramaic instead of seventeenth century English.

  4. Pingback: Licence To Depart – the new novel by Alex Sumner | Sol Ascendans – The Website of Alex Sumner

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