News today that Catholic priests in Poland have been burning books which they associate with magick and witchcraft – starting, inevitably, with Harry Potter.
Now the fact that burning books is a symptom of a totalitarian, intolerant, etc society has been said before, and sure enough, as soon as the story first broke, the chattering classes said as much on this group’s Facebook page.
However… I say this: what book is an occultist’s prime resource for Gematria?
From what book do you derive the names of countless angels for use in ceremonial magick, such as those of the Shem Ha Mephoresh?
What book must you inevitably possess if you want to make use of the magical powers of the Psalms?
Yes indeed! If these Catholic priests want to burn any books associated with magick and witchcraft, by rights the first book they should be setting on fire is the Bible itself!
Now I appreciate that some may find this idea a little controversial, so I propose a compromise:
I hereby give these priests permission to burn the occult fiction novels of Alex Sumner – so long as they pay for them first.
Seriously – all of my novels contain graphic descriptions of actual magick in between all of the scenes of people either being murdered or having sex (a lot of the sex scenes are themselves examples of magicKal rituals).
Furthermore, the print editions are all made of good quality paper which I am assured combusts easily, perhaps with a little dash of lighter-fuel (NB: please don’t try this in a confined space, for health and safety reasons).
Finally, Amazon do deliver to Poland. I suggest buying in bulk to make use of economies of scale – when you buy five or more at once, the total shipping averages at less than a pound per book, although obviously for a decent sized conflagration on a cold night, obviously you would need a lot more.
Hey! Why not get one for each of your parishioners? They could be made to feel a part of the event by each having their own copy of one of my novels to add to the blaze – have them symbolically throw on their book each one in turn. You could give them out with the Holy Communion at Mass, make it easy to distribute.
I suggest you start off with Eternal Witch, not just because it is my latest one, but also because it features of a real-life Scottish woman being burned at the stake in the late sixteenth century.
So happy incinerating, and make sure you only buy original purposes and not pay for pirated copies, as you don’t want to be breaking the eighth commandment now, do you?