Category Archives: Comment

Bad Sex In Fiction

Goat

J/S

The short list for the 2014 Bad Sex In Fiction Award has been announced, and luckily I am not on it. However I am bemused to find that an author I have lionised on this blog as a future contender for the Nobel Prize In Literature, Ben Okri, is! I am further bemused when I find that the passages quoted by the otherwise normally reliable Daily Telegraph do not appear to be particularly objectionable, so I assume that the Literary Review, who runs this reward, has issued this calumny against a Brother Author because they feeling abnormally prudish.

This has inspired me to write a special blog post, departing from the usual Occult theme, in which I discuss how to really write bad sex in fiction! So that my fellow authors can avoid doing so, obviously.

Alex’ Guide To Bad Sex In Fiction

Now the first and most important question is: Is sex necessary in this story?. This may quite justifiably be countered by: Is anything necessary in any given story? The answer to both is the same: if it is necessary for Character Development, and thus Plot development, Yes, if not, No.

This, incidentally, is why of all the sexual encounters that might possibly occur, the least appropriate in Fiction are those between a happily married husband and wife. It being assumed that happily married couples have sex on a regular basis, for them to do so in a Fictional novel is hardly going to provide any new instance of character development – thus it is completely gratuitous.

If, however, there is something unusual about the episode, then that it another matter entirely! (I mean “unusual” about the circumstances leading to the sexual encounter, not necessarily the sex itself – vide infra.) Unusual and remarkable circumstances create opportunities for character development. For example, if they are not in fact happily married, or one or both have an ulterior motive (e.g. murder, going on a long journey never to be seen again, etc), or one of them has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by an identical imposter, etc.

The next important question is: how often should sex occur in a story? This rather depends on what level you are pitching the story. A useful rule of thumb would be as follows:

  • If you are writing Literary Fiction, then – as many times as your manuscript has received rejection letters. *cough* ahem *cough* I mean, as many times as the plot structure dictates.
  • If you are writing “Erotica,” which in modern terms is how smut-merchants sneak blatant pornography under Amazon.com’s radar – once every other page.
  • If, however, you are writing what may quaintly be labelled “Contemporary Romance,” then this will be same as Erotica, except that the sex should be between two characters who love one another.

Thirdly, you need to consider: how much detail should you go into, with any given sex-scene? After careful consideration, I have come up with a fail-proof formula, to wit:

E is proportional to K over T times s

E is proportional to K over T times s

Where

  • E is the total amount of Explicitness;
  • K is how Kinky the whole scene is;
  • T is how much Trouble a reader would be in if they tried out whatever it was in real life; and
  • s is how likely the author would be sued as a result thereof.

Note that in regard to establishing K, the kinkiness of the author’s own sex-life is not a reliable measure!

Instead, the author should think carefully about who his or her intended audience is, and then set the base-level of kinkiness for sex-scenes in the novel as one degree higher than the audience would normally encounter in their own lives. The fact of the matter is that the vast majority of people who read fiction are seldom as perverted as the authors who write it. Instead, they come to fiction for an escapist thrill – i.e. what they would not normally experience, which they find vicariously in the exploits of the fictional characters in the novel. A higher standard is thus expected of writers than readers, as we are expected to carry out literary research!

However, by sticking to this formula one will ensure that vanilla fumblings in the missionary position will not normally detain the reader for more than a sentence or two: but instances of the more recondite positions of the Kama Sutra, or bizarre sexual acts such as those which pass for an ordinary night out at Kenneth Grant’s Typhonian OTO, merit more attention.

The variables T and s represent the fact that sometimes it is possible to go too far, although one has to keep this in perspective.

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Is Adrianne Curry being controlled by the Illuminati?… – IlluminatiWatcher

I am currently in the middle of a fairly major magical project which is keeping me busy right now: this explains why I have not been posting so frequently to this blog. I felt, however, in the interests of humanity, that I had to share the following:

Is Adrianne Curry being controlled by the Illuminati?… – IlluminatiWatcher.

Yes, model Adrianne Curry has decided to join Katy Perry amongst the ranks of the world’s most famous secret organisation. The page linked to above cites many convincing reasons why this notorious cosplayer is a member of the Illuminati… except for the most convincing one. Now, however, I, Alex Sumner, world’s greatest expert on the occult and member of several reasonably secret magical, mystical and fraternal organisations (according to my bio in the new Hermetic Tablet) can supply the icing on the cake, as it it were.

Aleister Crowley  and Adrianne Curry

“AC”

AC, get it? Adrianne Curry has the same initials as Aleister Crowley, the notoriously self-described “Great Beast 666.” What’s more, Crowley changed his first name to Aleister because of an Illuminati-secret for achieving greatness, to wit:

I had read in some book or other that the most favourable name for becoming famous was one consisting of a dactyl followed by a spondee, as at the end of a hexameter: like Jeremy Taylor. Aleister Crowley fulfilled these conditions and Aleister is the Gaelic form of Alexander. To adopt it would satisfy my romantic ideals.

Now check this out:

A-LEIS-TER CROW-LEY Dactyl, followed by a spondee
A-DRI-ANNE CUR-RY Dactyl, followed by a spondee

Coincidence? I think not! Proof if any were needed that Curry is not only a member of the Illuminati but she is deliberately using the symbolism of the occultist once dubbed The Wickedest Man In The World. QED. Fnord.

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QOTD: Co-Masonry

“When I first joined Co-Masonry, I thought at first that it was going to be Freemasonry-Lite. How wrong I was.

A (male) co-mason.

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September 4, 2014 · 4:38 pm

Who is the Secret Chief of the Golden Dawn?

This is a response to a blog post by Aaron Leitch about the Archangel Raphael being Frater Lux E Tenebris. IMHO the identification of Frater LET with this Archangel is far too simplistic, as it conceals much more than it reveals. The “Archangel Raphael” is itself a pseudonym: however I, Alex Sumner, the World’s greatest expert on the Occult, can now reveal even this august person’s real-name.

“Raphael” itself is a Hebrew word meaning “Healer of God.” Now to the ancient Hebrews, God lived in Heaven, and Heaven was thought to be synonymous with the Sky. Thus “Raphael” might be more accurately translated as “Heavenly Healer,” “Celestial Healer,” or even “Doctor From Outer Space.”

Peter Capaldi as Doctor Who

Secret Chief of the Golden Dawn

Yes, folks, the “Archangel Raphael” aka “Frater LET” is none other than The Doctor. As further evidence I cite the following:

Frater LET appeared to Mathers. A secret chief named Frater LET appeared to David Griffin. Clearly it is the same person, who was able to manage this feat by travelling through time!

Secondly: the Doctor is well-known to be cagey about revealing his true name. This is why he attempted to get the Book of Tobit (the only scriptural reference to “Raphael”) downgraded from the Old Testament to the Apocrypha, in the hope that people wouldn’t pay much attention to him suddenly materialising in the life of young Tobias.

So there you have it! Not only have I revealed the true identity of the Secret Chief of the Golden Dawn, I’ve also spoilt Doctor Who for millions of fans! ;)

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Katy Perry: I want to join the Illuminati – People – News – The Independent

Katy Perry

Katy Perry

Last month I reported that K-Pez was being sued by some Christian rapper, who alleged on the flimsiest of pretences that the alleged similarity of her song “Dark Horse” to his own made him look as if he were associated with the Illuminati (see here for details).

I say “flimsiest” – now, however, K-Pez obviously likes the taste of foot – and unfortunately I don’t mean other people’s! She has apparently told Rolling Stone magazine:

“If the Illuminati exist, I would like to be invited … I see all that s**t and I’m like: ‘Come on, let me in! I want to be in the club.'”

Presumably her attorney didn’t advise her that the reason the fourth power of the Sphinx is “to keep Silent” is that it helps greatly if you’re not currently being sued!

As it happens, someone (not Katy Perry) was asking me on Facebook just the other day how to join the Illuminati. Given that she lived in America, I could hardly tell her “Come over to England and I’ll initiate you myself,” so instead I gave her this advice.

“Fill yourself with Light. That way, if you don’t join the official Illuminati, you will join the real Illuminati.”

The fact is that the term “Illuminati” has been associated with: a short-lived branch of the Rite of Strict Observance; an extreme Zionist conspiracy; an extreme left-wing conspiracy; an extreme right-wing conspiracy; or indeed any half-baked conspiracy which is logically at variance with each and every other version of the theory. However, the real meaning of “Illuminati” is simply one who has been filled with Light: whilst the term “Illuminism” is a simply an old-fashioned word for mysticism.

Hence, Katy, if you are reading this blog (as I know you surely are), my message: it’s not a coincidence that insight from mystical self-awareness is called “enlightenment!” Seek it out. :)

Original story:
Katy Perry: I want to join the Illuminati – People – News – The Independent.

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Is Melchizadek A Zionist?

Israel

Israel

Here’s a thought. In Qabalistic terms, the secretest chiefiest secret chief of them all is a mysterious person who is like the “Alpha-Qabalist” (or indeed Aleph-Qabalist) who is the Baal Shem Tov of the modern era. He (?) it is who has the authority to transmit the true Unwritten Qabalah, or knowledge of the true pronunciation of the Tetragrammaton. This person – let’s call him “Melchizadek” for the sake of argument – is Jewish.

Would therefore “Melchizadek” have had any truck with anyone who sided with the Nazis during the third reich? My own muddled thinking would say almost certainly not. Hence: any occultist of a Germanic origin, claiming to be a Qabalist, must be viewed with suspicion, as if anyone in their tradition was a Nazi or helped the Nazis, it is likely that Melchizadek would have withdrawn all contact from the members of that tradition.

So now we turn to the Israeli/Gaza conflict. If, as I surmise, Melchizadek is Jewish, it is also likely that he (?) is also a Zionist by sympathy. Now before I get a whole load of trolls jumping on me saying that this a logical non-sequitur, I would say: for the great majority of Jews, the pure idea of “Zionism” is perfectly reasonable to them, as it is the natural desire of their people to find a place of rest and sanctuary after centuries of upheaval.

Hence, occultists who purport to practice the Qabalah yet do not support the principles of Zionism are likely to find themselves cut-off from the source of Qabalism. A Qabalistic solution to the present crisis must involve the preservation of the integrity of the state of Israel (even if the methods currently adopted by the Israeli government are not the best means of ensuring this takes place).

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Meet Thor-a! The New Female Thor!

Thor-a!

The General Synod of the Church of England may have thought it was clever by changing the gender qualifications associated with Bishops, but Marvel Comics is attempting one better: by changing the gender of an actual god!

Yes! “Thor” is going to become a woman. Marvel plan to justify this by saying that “Thor” is not a name but rather the title of the person who has “the power of Thor” – which is, according to the comic book company, dependent on who is wielding the famed hammer Mjölnir at any given time, rather than who is the descendant of Odin the Allfather.

My immediate reaction to this was that it is likely to rile the Asatru community something chronic, as Marvel have failed to consider that Thor is not just a fictional character, nor a deity in a long-dead religion, but a deity in a contemporary living religion. Indeed, I have seen anecdotal evidence that many current followers of Asatru were first attracted to that particular brand of Heathenry by first reading about in the original Marvel series.

But then I started to wonder: can a female Asatruar- e.g. a Gythia (Priestess) – actually invoke a male deity such as Thor in real life? And if so, would it be normal Asatru practice to do so? I am not Asatru myself, and data on this particular question is not straightforward to find in a quick Google search, but I would hazard a guess that the answers to these two questions would be:

  1. Possibly;
  2. No – because there are enough Goddesses with qualities similar enough so that one would not normally need to invoke a deity not coinciding with one’s gender.

In any event, it seems quite clear that Marvel’s idea of imposing political correctness on Germanic Heathenry is alien to actual practice, in form if not in intention as well. I would be interested in actual Asatruars’ view on the subject.

For more details see:
Marvel changing Thor to female | In Entertainment.

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You Will Not Believe The Advice This Guy Gives About Tarot Cards…

Pat Robertson, comedy televangelist

Pat Robertson, comedy televangelist

Tarot Cards are bad for your health and can give you violent stomach-ache! So you’d better stop eating them! Joking aside for one moment, that would actually have been far more sensible advice than that given by US Televangelist Pat Robertson to a woman who emailed into his show.

Apparently, a woman’s son experienced violent stomach pains when she prayed to him in the name of Jesus. She then emailed Robertson for advice. Now I am no Doctor, but I am a qualified First-Aider, and can tell you for nothing that if someone came to me with stomach pains I would firstly carry out a full Secondary Survey, and then – unless a specific medical condition indicated otherwise – call 111 (NHS Direct) or 999 (for an Ambulance) (i.e. in the UK) depending on how serious the patient’s condition apppeared.

Ah! But does Robertson do any of this? Does he even suggest getting checked out by a doctor at all? Erm no. He automatically assumes that it is caused by one of the woman’s ancestors having practiced witchcraft, or used tarot cards, and then recommends getting in an exorcist who really believes in spiritual warfare to sort this whole thing out.

Let’s just rewind for one second: it was when the woman prayed to Jesus that the boy felt sick. I suppose it would have been beyond Robertson to suggest, “Well stop praying to Jesus, then?”

Robertson is well-known in the USA as a particularly rabid right-wing televangelist. I have had to cause to mention his antics before on this blog in regard to his remarks on the 2010 Haitian Earthquake. Indeed, I noted at the time:

“Pat” apparently is not actually his real-name, but a childhood nickname derived from the fact that as a baby people liked to pat him a lot.

May I suggest that in the future he might consider changing it to Punch Robertson.


Alex’ own Tarot-themed novel, Taromancer, is now available in print and Kindle from Amazon.

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Rapper Flame sues Katy Perry claiming she stole Dark Horse melody from Joyful Noise | Metro News

Katy Perry, Roar

Katy Perry, Roar

News just in that some no-mark rapper of whom I’ve never heard is attempting to sue Katy Perry, alleging that she plagiarised his song. To add insult to injury, he, a gentleman called Flame, also says that she has sullied his overtly Christian Rap song with her associations of “witchcraft, paganism, black magic, and Illuminati imagery…”

This sounds like a case for His Honour Judge Sumner! To deal with the first allegation first, I would have to say that while the Beats of the Flame’s “Joyful Noise” and K-Pez’ “Dark Horse” are similar, the overall harmony and melodies are not. As far as I understand copyright law, it’s only melodies that can actually be copyrighted, so I believe that Flame is going to be put out on this one.

As to the second: the video for “Dark Horse” contains a prominent Ancient Egyptian theme, and occultists do look to the Egyptian mysteries for inspiration, but to infer that the video is therefore occult for that reason is a logical fallacy, a classical example of the undistributed middle. In any case the video is clearly not a plagiarism but Flame appears to be trying to link it in by the most tenuous means possible.

Besides: “Dark Horse” is not the most occult video that Katy Perry  has ever released!

That distinction belongs to “Roar,” which is about a woman (Perry) who empowers herself by learning ancient shamanic techniques – i.e. shapeshifting. This is nothing other than what Magick in real life is all about! Achieving Self-Empowerment by learning ancient wisdom!


For more info, read:

Rapper Flame sues Katy Perry claiming she stole Dark Horse melody from Joyful Noise | Metro News.

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Whatever is Lucid Dreamed on this night, will come to pass

Happy Summer Solstice everyone!

Or if you live down south, Happy Winter Solstice to you!

Or, if like the majority of the world’s population you live within the tropical region: Happy Hurricane Season!

Or, if you are Pat Zalewski, Happy Corpus Christi!

Having a look at Twitter today, I notice the following tweet doing the rounds: “Whatever is dreamed on this night, will come to pass.” Apparently this is a quote from William Shakespeare from “A Midsummer’s Night Dream.” *

It occured to me: but those of us who can lucid dream have an unfair advantage! We have the power to decide the contents of our dreams both in advance and in-dream itself.

To read my guide to Lucid dreaming, click here.

* It’s not actually in the play at all, I checked.

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